


catharsis

by excorde (constant)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27158023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constant/pseuds/excorde
Summary: Welcome back.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Song Yunhyeong
Kudos: 13





	catharsis

"The rose reminds me of you."

I still remember the day I blurted that out loud. How the words had easily slipped off my tongue as I watched you struggle to dribble a basketball. Maybe it was the way the sunset cast golden specks on your face and hair, making you look more majestic and glowing than you already were. Maybe it was the way your hair bounced when you went in for a shot (it didn’t) and how you abashedly laughed at yourself because you missed it.

Your eyes lit up then, and almost immediately, my heart started to race when you started to make your way towards where I was, somewhere along the three-point line.

“Did I say that out loud?” I asked, fingers unconsciously fiddling at the hem of my shirt. 

You didn’t say anything. You tend to do that a lot - leaving my genuine questions unanswered. Instead, you ran up to me and I almost fled, but you were always faster than I was, and the next thing I knew, you have your arms thrown around me, your sweat-soaked body clinging on me. 

I pushed you away.

The light in your eyes was still there when you pulled away. Your hands were still around my neck when you pulled away. 

"Is it because I'm as beautiful as the rose?" You asked as your grin widened and I laughed then, because you were right. And as I think back to that moment now, I laugh again, except this time with no humor, because you were wrong.

It was more than just you being as beautiful as the rose.

It was the way you laughed at almost everything. It was the way you argued every time that pineapple does, indeed, go on pizza. It was how you're the only one out of the millions of people in this world who prefer kids over cats and dogs. It was the way you always try to do new things and keep doing it, even if you suck at it. It was the way your whole face lights up whenever you get excited, and you get excited with almost _everything._

The rose reminds me of you not because you're as beautiful as it is (even though you are; _I would go to the end of the world and scream about how beautiful you are_ ), but because you prickled me with your thorns while you distracted me with your petals.

I counted. 

Every day that you were gone, I counted. 

I started with _one_ , and I ended up with a month, _months,_ a hundred, _hundreds._

I can count up to a thousand, _thousands,_ and _more_ , if it means that the only thing capable of ending it is your return. 

  
  
  


It was your birthday yesterday. 

And it felt as if the world celebrated it. 

I cooked a meal I knew you would love, and when I had just accepted the fact that I would have to eat it alone, Chanwoo showed up. 

I remember the way you and Chanwoo used to fuss over the seats in our dining table, fighting over who gets to sit across me. I always knew our brother only ever argued for the fun of it, and this was only proven to be true when he headed straight to the seat on my right, even when there wasn't anyone to fight him about the other seat anymore. 

"He would love this." Chanwoo had said after a few bites. 

I smiled at him in response before turning my gaze on the empty seat across from us. 

For some reason, I knew in my heart that Chanwoo was right.

  
  
  


Today, I ran. 

I counted days, weeks, months. _Years_ , almost.

But now, I stopped. 

I stopped counting. I stopped running. 

My feet are wet from the puddles on the concrete pavement I trampled on. I can feel my heart pounding and I couldn't tell what's causing it - the thrill, the excitement, the nerves, the fact that I just ran all the way from the dorm to get here, the fact that you're casually sitting there on the maroon bench with the camera slung over your neck, smiling at me as if you were never gone. 

"Hyung." 

And it _did_ feel like you were never gone. With the way your eyes still hold that gleam I always adored, with the way you held up the camera - the same camera you used to take stolen pictures of me - as I bend forward on my knees to catch my breath. 

"Don't take my photo!" I warn. 

You let out a laugh. 

_God, that laugh._

Without waiting for permission, I close the distance between us, my feet buckling nervously as I become consciously aware of your gaze on me. 

It's so like you to be lounging on a bench in the middle of a flower field. 

And it's so like you to get on your feet as soon as I slump down on the bench. 

You laugh again, and I swear the world stills for a moment to listen. 

"Let's go, hyung." 

"But I just got here." 

"So did I." You pause to smile. "I haven't been home for a while, you know? I'm excited." 

I get on my feet, inching closer towards you until there's barely any space left between us. 

"I made you your favorite." I add, "For your birthday yesterday." 

Just as I guessed, the light brightens in your eyes. "Chanwoo didn't finish it all, did he?" 

I let out a chuckle, shaking my head, "No, he didn't. And even if he had, I can always make you more." 

Out of nowhere, you reach out and take my hand in yours, intertwining our fingers together in the same warmth I missed, the same warmth I haven't felt in a long while. 

"Let's go." You whisper, tugging gently as you take the lead. 

We fall into step, and I find that it's easier to look at you like this when you're right here beside me, as close as you can be. Not when you're ahead of me, not when you're behind, not when you're a memory conjured from my mind. 

"Welcome back, Bin." I say. 

You look at me. 

My heart skips. 

You smile, and I swear the world pauses for a moment to take a look. 

"And thank you for waiting." 


End file.
